This afternoon I sat in the yard, holding my cat on my lap as he lay dying. He breathed slowly, then painfully. I told him I loved him, over and over I said this, 'I love you, it's alright to go....' And then it was over. His name is Simba. He was 17 or 18....somewhere in there. Yesterday I sat with him on the lawn as he snuggled up to my leg, sunning himself and purring. It was a merry, orange-in-every-way Beltane.
Last night, I learned that Osama Bin Laden was killed and when I woke up this morning, it was still true. Today on NPR a woman in Boston was interviewed in the midst of one of the many rallies going on all over the country. She referenced the occasion as being "so cool" and "one of the best things to happen to America." While this death, this situation is many things, I would certainly not say that "cool" is one of them. I can't dance around because anyone is dead, even him. I don't feel any joy about it, not any part of it, not his death or the thousands of others. This is just a never-ending chain of death-death-death-hate-hate-hate. Nothing more. When the towers fell, they rejoiced in the streets. They were glad. When he fell, America rejoiced in the streets. She was glad. She was glad, I wasn't. There was something that felt close to relief, perhaps. A solemn sort of justice, and I term it that even though said justice is not mine to make the call on. And I know....I know this would all be different if I had been gouged deeper by those planes. I know. Really, someone else said how I feel first and best, so imma throw a quote and leave it at that. I find it a comfort that these words are blanketing the interwebs tonight:
"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."
Rainy night house.
Art-based theme for crafty-like projects that I have been working with:
a question of locks
my knuckles are sore from post-thrift embroidering.
also, I keep drawing trees.
Well. not really treeS.
it's the same tree, over and over and over and over....
My lawn-art dog that I keep in my garden (his name is Robert) has lost an eye.
I shall have to fashion a patch for him.
Dori and I found a nice brown bunny in the yard just ten minutes ago. It was the Easter Bunny. He ran into the woods. I would have tried to catch him, but I temporarily forgot that bunnies were associated with Easter. In any case, no matter what anyone tells you, we found him first. And he doesn't shit jellybeans.
Thrifted finds of the night:
ugly cotton-jersey skirt in RED with black silk-sceened tassels all over it.
strange, lacey knit fabric in YELLOW that will make a lovely, lemony springtime scarf.
I should be taking more pictures.
I miss everyone.